Built-in Mudroom

I've been coveting built-in mudroom shelving like these examples for many months, since Jon got his job offer to be exact.  There are a million examples all over Houzz and pinterest.

Traditional Entry design by Dc Metro Design-build Case Design/Remodeling, Inc.

Traditional Entry design by Minneapolis Kitchen And Bath Crystal Kitchen Center
 

So naturally, putting one of these in somewhere, was at the top of my DIY list.  I was super excited about the project once I figured out where and how to move the storage that this provided to somewhere else in the house.  We had to switch the washer and dryer so the dryer is on the left.  They're backwards now, which is only slightly annoying.  But that allowed us to put all the wire shelves back in that were taken out before.  Bad design.  Anyway, then we busted out these shelves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next we built a bench and added bead board.

Then we had the fun task of building the cubbys into the space.  We built them out in the garage first then took them apart and re-built them into place.  I can see why this type of thing is easier before your trim work is up :)

Jon added a design in back


Next we threw on a few coats of nice white paint.

That is as far as we are right now.  Next is accessorizing this beauty.  That'll take some time so I'm posting this now anyway.  We have a fabric picked out for the cusion.  And I did see some baskets I like but I might wait on them, just to be sure I don't change my mind.  Plus, it's nice to space out the purchases :)  We're also adding hooks and a picture.  I'm super excited about this.  I love the way it turned out.  And it just looks SO much better than before!

I should also add that Jon came off like he had no handy-man skills prior to buying this house.  Um, what?!  He's amazing.  He at least appears like he knows how to do everything!  I'm so impressed with my man.  He's basically amazing :)

It Still Hurts

It has been almost a full year since we first heard the words Spinal Muscular Atrophy.  I thought by this time I could think it all over without tears coming to my eyes.  I could hold my son's frail body without squeezing him slightly tighter.  I thought by this time I could answer my daughter's questions easily about why Benson can't walk, stand, crawl, lift things, and why he tips over all the time.  I thought it would be a dull pain, somewhere deep in my heart that could only surface when I allowed.  I feel like it comes to my mind with  sharp pain almost every day.  It still hurts.  It hurts every darn day.  It hurts even more when Benson yells out things to Vanessa like, "I want to come with you Nessa!"  "I can't mommy, I can't."  "I'm stuck Mommy."  "I tipped over."  "Get it mommy, get it." 
I have been so blessed throughout all of this.  I know that I have.  The Lord has had His hand in our lives, I can see it in so many ways.  I can't imagine going through all this without Him.  I sometimes find when it gets unbearable, and I feel like I am losing my mind, it is because I am trying to do it myself and not relying on His help, strength, and support.
Human clinical trials are one step closer to becoming reality.  We are one step closer to a cure.  While this is hopeful for any future children we may have, it most likely won't reverse the damage that has already been done for Benson.  It hurts my hurt to know that he most likely won't experience walking, running and jumping in this life.  But it makes me so happy knowing that he doesn't need those experiences to be happy.  He IS happy.  He is such a happy boy.  He has an amazing light inside of him.  I have never seen a two year old with the ability to share like him.  I feel so proud to be his mommy.  Why the Lord trusted me with such a sweet spirit, I will never understand. 

Wear Pants to Church Day

I want to write and complain about my long, rough, day.  But I can't.  I read something on facebook today that I can't get off my mind.  "Wear pants to church day."  In case you haven't heard, though if you are in Utah, I supposed it's all over the place, it's a public event created by a couple of LDS women who are encouraging other LDS women to wear pants to church on Sunday.  That's all it is.  Or is it?  It's keeping me up, turning from side to side.  A million thoughts have been rushing around in my head and I'm just bothered.  I read through some of the comments.  Some good arguments, some contentious, some down right rude.  There are currently around 1400 planning to "attend" this event.  What has happened to us?!  These are members of this church planning a movement against their own church!  I can understand having a personal struggle with something within the church.  But to create a movement?  To cause other people to question and possibly be led astray and not to mention people who are not members not are most definitely reading the threads.  And all the people who are not members who are reading those threads, will probably not ever want to be a member.  This is just disheartening. 
Without even discussing the doctrinal issues, let's talk about the fact that a movement of any kind taking place during a worship service is completely inappropriate.  I have a hard time believing that anyone who participates in this movement is doing it to feel the Spirit or to become closer to God.  All this will do is distract from the Spirit and cause contention in the meeting. 
The facisous nature of this movement is that it is not doctrinally expected that women wear a dress to church.  It is culturally expected that "Sunday best" include a dress for women.  But no one has said that women HAVE to wear a dress.  So really, there is no point to this movement, right?  One would think so.  However, there was rumored among the comments that the problem is some women are upset they can't hold the preisthood.  That seems to make more sense to me as the real issue here.  Sara Ally Long, one of the creators of the event, doesn't come out and say as much in her text about the event; however, she does allude to the "inequalities" between men and women within the church. 
I personally have never had a problem with women not holding the preisthood.  I am now realizing this is probably a spiritual gift from Heavenly Father.  I may have had a two month stint with my feministic ideals but really, I feel equal.  I've always felt equal.  Why does equal have to be the same? The roles of men and women make complete sense to me.  I think the roles of men and women form to make the perfect institution.  I believe in the traditional roles of men working to make a living and women staying home to care for the home and kids.  I'm a SAHM, by choice (as crazy as that choice sometimes feels).  I didn't choose this role out of ignorance.  I didn't choose it because I had "nothing better" to do.  It's what God gave me time to do!  I don't personally understand struggling with THIS gospel principle.  But, I have had my bout with others (cough cough polygamy).  The only conclusion I have come to on such issues is some things have to be accepted on faith, NOT ignorance.  These are very different, though satan would try to convince people that they are the same.
As far as this having an ounce of influence on any matters within the Church, it will not.  We all know it will not.  We have clear evidence of that by reading the Bible.  There are no accounts, ever, or women holding the preisthood.  I doubt this is something the Lord ever plans to change.  The divine roles of men and women were created before man.  Why would the Lord change this because some angry women feel they aren't being treated fairly?  To them I am sure he would simply say, "I love you more than you know and your worth is as great as theirs."  Different but equal.

Brigham

Brigham is just ten days shy of 9 months.  And what a 9 months it has been!

 

He is an absolutely beautiful baby.  I seriously can't take this kid shopping without three or four people stopping me to talk to him.  The largest reason for that is he grins at everyone that walks by.  He loves attention.  Adores it. 

 Brigham has been our hardest baby.  People kept telling me your third is easiest.  In part, because you figure things out and in part because they have to be.  Something happened in those two factors and it just isn't that way for us.  Brigham was colicky for a LONG time.  And, I was by myself most of the time.  He is a very opinionated baby.  He wants a schedule.  He wants breakfast by 8, lunch by noon and dinner by 5.  Speaking of eating, he is loving table foods.  So much so, that I can hardly get him to eat baby food anymore. 

 While Brigham has been a hard baby, he is also onke of the happiest babies.  Slightly ironic.  This little guy has a strong personality, in both extremes.  And a strong grip. 

 He isn't quite crawling yet.  Though I have seen him do it on a few occassions.  If there is something motivating enough, he can get it.  I am not motivation however.  If I try to get him to crawl to me, he'll jusut cry.

 He likes to suck on your face and rip your hair out.  We sometimes call him our vampire.

He gives the biggest hugs when cuddling.  Literally wraps his arms around your neck and squeezes with his whole body, legs and all.  I get one of these hugs almost every time I pick him up, but always after a nap.  We sure love this little chubs.  Our family wouldn't be the same without him.

Three Completed Projects

Here is Jon's workbench in the garage.  My personal favorite part of the pic is his gallon jug of Hawaiian Punch.  You'll also notice the headboard and footboard leaning against the wall, it was a $10 thrift store find.  There will be more pictures to come on that later.

 Here is our custom design and custom made table.  I saw a pin on pinterest showing a board simply nailed to the wall for a behind-the-couch table.  Jon turned the idea into a small behind-the-couch actual table, to save the mall.  Loving how it turned out.  I put one little picture on there for now, but I am still deciding how to decorate it.  The main purpose is standard coffee table uses.  A drink here, a snack there.  We have an ottoman and that is dangerous ground with kids around.  But, there must also be decor, right?!

 A couple shots from above.

And here is another pinterest inspired project.  I saw these and thought, hey, cheap way to make way cute storage boxes.  Cheap?  Haha.  They are custom and match exactly with what I want to do in the room.  But it wasn't cheap.  The box was an old wipes box from Costco.  We already had it and definitely use the wipes in this house, so we won't factor in that $25.  But the fabric alone cost $16.  And that is with coupons!  (a 50% off from Joann's and 40% from Hobby Lobby).  It was a lot of work and doesn't honestly look that great.  So despite that inner voice in me that says if I make it, it will be cheaper, I think I'll stick to shopping that Hobby Lobby 50% off baskets sale.

Ok, total side note.  Jon is not a fan of the colors.  The brown is obviously staying.  Our couch is brown.  The previous owners left all the curtains in the living areas and so I just kind of went with what they had going.  There was a green curtain in the pantry area and I thought, well that sure makes my decision easier.  Let's just use that green as our accent.  The other colors are cream, tan and brown.  We desperately needed color and I felt a bold one was good.  Jon is not a fan of the bold.  Oops.  He's adjusting though.  At least he doesn't hate the pillows I bought for the couch anymore. :)

Visitors and more pictures

 My parents came into town.  It's like Christmas when they come.  Quite literally because they LOVE to spoil everyone but also because I get as excited as a kid on Christmas.  I was absolutely awful about taking pictures.  And then I forgot to download my mom's SD card before she left.  This is the only picture I have of my mom.  But my dad was also here.  We had a pretty chill week.  We went down to Branson and hit the outlet mall.  Here is the results of that trip.  The men loved it. ;)

 It wasn't all bad though because after shopping we went to an amazing Mexican restaurant.  Seriously so good.  We ate well this entire week, lets be honest.  I think this was also the night the women dominated in hand and foot.  As I am typing this I realized we didn't teach them the new game we had learned, Oh Heck.  Next trip I guess.  We also ate at Lamberts.  A great place where they literally throw rolls to you.  My dad was actually talking to Jon at one point and they thought he was raising his hands for rolls and got a roll tossed at his head.  We did a bit more shopping, lots of card playing, and tons of eating.  We also tried out a great Chinese restaurant called Mr Yens.  Some of the best chinese.  And of course, we had to get Panera.  One of these days, Utah will have that place.

 Isn't he a cutie?  Love his crazy hair.  Though I do wish he would hold still so I could try to trim and tame a bit.  Just a bit.

 Here are two pics of the upstairs bath.  It's the guest bath and Vanessa's bath.  Small and cute.  I love the blue they chose.  It worked out perfectly with the shower curtain we had from our wedding and a brown rug, that you can't see in the pictures.

 We also moved the hutch.  I like it a lot better here.  It isn't as convenient to get around the table but it just looks so much better.  Now just to refinish that furniture.  That'll be a project.....

 Jon went a little crazy on black friday and loaded up on the power tools.  I love it just as much as him since now he can make me all sorts of things.  Like this awesome table that is custom height and size for Benson in his wheelchair.

 We finally opened our last boxes.  Our home decor.  Here is our massive pile of frames and other randomness.  Most of them are black.  And of course, our living area is browns now.  I'm going to have to paint some and the rest will go in the bedroom, I guess.

 We were working on Vanessa's closet and she found these.  They are vinyl that my mom ordered for her a while back.  She was pretty insistent that she needed them on her walls that very moment.  So insistent that I told her later, but she just went ahead and started anyway.  Oh well.  They turned out cuter than I expected, even if they did make me pull my hair out a few times.  Mostly just the long purple one.  It ripped in about 10 places and clung to itself all over.  It probably took me fifteen minutes to get that one on the wall.  The rest weren't so bad though :)

We are seriously over our heads in projects.  Not gonna lie though, I kind of love it.  I didn't get a pic of the other table Jon made, or his work bench.  I'll get those up asap.

Pictures

This is all I have so far.  But there will be more as we get each room fully unpacked and situated.  Here is the room we painted.  It is our guest/craft room.  It was going to be the office but we are leaning to having the office in the master.  I think that's the current plan.  

The first night we just prepped for painting.  I read about a technique for getting straight lines from pinterest and we decided to try that.

 The idea is that you paint the color that will bleed first.  So we taped off the white trim and then used the trim paint to run a line of paint over the tape.  That dried for 24 hours and then we went back and did the first coat of the paint we were putting in, Sand Dune.

 This is actually a picture of the second coat going on.  I didn't take a pic of the first coat.  And here are two pics of the furniture in.  We put our furniture in there.  It's from our wedding.  It's kind of sad actually.  I love this furniture.  But I am super excited to have a bigger bed :)

 Here is our kitchen.  Ignore the random messes throughout, it was day 1 of unpacking.  The tall cupboards next to the fridge are super deep.  They are the pantry.  But I'm still trying to figure out how to organize so it isn't a deep abyss that everything is lost in.  The green curtain through the doorway is hiding some wire shelving that can also be a pantry.  But I kind of want to turn that into a mudroom area.  Vanessa is totally a come in and dump girl so I want to have somewhere for her to dump.  I'd like a built-in shelf with rolling bins underneath and some hooks for jackets.  But I also need that shelving space for awkward/bulky items.  So I'm kind of torn at the moment.  I haven't decided what to do. 

 Here is the dining part of the kitchen.  Jon likes the hutch on this wall but I like it better on the other wall, behind the table I think.  He feels like this arrangment the hutch is less in the way of the table.  But I think it looks better on the other wall, though I do agree it is less in the way in this spot.  I'm more about making things look good though, ya know?  Haha.  So I am thinking of doing this table and hutch a dark stain.  Possibly the espresso gel stains I keep seeing on pinterest but then painting it a creamy white and distressing it.  Any thoughts?  I want to get rid of the mirrors in the hutch and either put a cute pattern fabric along the back or put a bold color.

 And we are thinking of switching out the carpet in the family room and toy room for wood.  The wood that is already in the house is about 2 1/4" strips.  There aren't many choices in that width since the style now is the really wide, 5" strips.  So we are thinking we'll just use the 5" strips anway.  And we can't decide what color to do.  The one on the right is definitely the most similar to the existing wood.  But it is obviously not exact so maybe it would be more fun to just do something completely different but that still coordinates?  I like the middle one.  But it's pretty dark and might possibly be a pain to keep clean.  These samples were actually more expensive than we had expected so we might have to start over anyway.  And we might only end up doing the play room for now.  Just so Benson can get around easier in there.  And we still have to consider the engineered wood.  The lady at the store actually recommended the engineered for this climate, because of the humidity.  But I was sort of convinced the real stuff is the way to go.  This is obviously going to be a long-drawn out decision.

The move and Thanksgiving

So I was going to upload some photos but it says that I am out of free storage.  I don't want to pay to add photo storage.  That's what I get for uploading full res photos and not resizing.  But still, why is there a limit?  Such a bummer.  I'll have to work on that problem, but in the mean time, here is quick update. 
WE MOVED!
We are officially home owners.  It's awesome.  And today, we are officially internet-home-owners.  Another awesome.  So here is how everything went down.
We signed the papers on November 14.  Er, I signed the papers.  Jon was stuck at work and missed closing!  So he had to go over the next day to sign but they still gave me a key.  I told Jon it was only mine and I owned the house solito, but he completely missed my teasing him.  I think he was too frazzled by work.  I guess it wouldn't have worked anyway, since he makes all the money.  Details.  So November 14 we went to the house and prepped the room we were planning on painting.  Luckily, there was only one room that we felt needed immediate attention.  We plan to paint the boys room as well, but it's a bit down the to-do list. 
The next day, in my madness, I rented a rug doctor and cleaned all the carpets.  I hauled the dumb thing and the kids over while Jon was at work and got to work myself.  For some reason, I thought it would be quick.  Like vaccuming, just whip around the carpet and we're done.  Haha!  Not so.  It took me seven hours.  Yes, seven.  Seven hours total to clean five rooms, a hall and stairs.  I only spent three hours of actual time at the rug doctor.  There was actually a timer on the machine, counting hours used so that is a pretty accurate number.  But the rest of the time was cleaning the gross fuzz balls of the carpet or out of the water, changing water, etc.  And of course, the majority of that time was spent trying to keep the kids from completely spazzing out.  Jon came home and painted the first coat on the room while I finished the carpets.
Day three as homeowners we packed our apartment.  Day four we loaded the truck and hauled it to the house.  We had a few helpers from the ward and they helped out a ton.  It was awesome to have a garage to load all the boxes into and unpack them as slowly as we wanted. 
From there it was smooth sailing, sort of.  We unpacked as much as we could in a few days and then had to get ready for Thanksgiving.  In my madness, I signed up for the missionaries to come to dinner at our new house.  No one had signed up for Nov 22 yet, so I signed up for that day, thinking we could be unpacked by then.  When I was telling Jon, he reminded me it was Thanksgiving.  Oh geez.  So we switched Thanksgiving celebration locations to our place since the friends we were going to eat with were not in our ward.  It all worked out great in the end, but I was kind of frazzled.
I spent the day before and the day of, walking around the kitchen in aimless circles, trying to mentally calculate everything I needed to do and when I needed to do it.  I still got the timing off on a few things, but overall it went great.  I don't know how I would have made all the food myself.  That would have been intense.  But it worked great sharing it with friends.  It was so fun having the Durtschis and the Rinngers over.  The kids ran around like wild hooligans and had so much fun.  Sweet Ella took Benson under her wing and kept him so entertained the whole night!  I always worry about him having someone.  Kids at 2 and 3 just want to run and be crazy and he just can't keep up unless someone takes him under his wing like that.  It was seriously so awesome.  Vanessa was in heaven with Indie who dressed up with her and ran away from all the crazy pirates.  The adults smash talked Obama, learned about loan forgiveness, and purused the Black Friday Ads.
After all the guests left, we got Brig to bed.  Benson and Vanessa were settled in on the bed with Jon reading books and I took off to Wally World.  I was after a few random things that were completely unexciting.  Items like a TV wall mount, McAfee Anti-virus, back-up external hard drive, and a memory foam rug.  They only had the hard drive and rug.  Plus I grabbed some panties for Vanessa and Candy Land.  While in the check-out line, Jon text me saying Brig had been screaming going on thirty minutes.  I hurried through the line and dashed home, to try and help.  Everyone was settled by the time I got there but Benson was still up!  It was pushing 11pm.  Crazy boy.  Jon went to bed with plans to hit Home Depot before work.  Jon scored some killer deals on much needed power tools, to go along with our new house.  We have quite the to-do list we are excited to knock out. 
I say we, but really, I haven't done much yet.  If Jon were to say what my job is, he would probably say I just critique and tell him how to do things, when he is doing it differently than I would do it.  Haha.  I have lofty goals and do intend to learn how to use that saw.  I also have lots of things to sand and refinish. 
Jon is drilling away as we speak putting in a special table, measured out specifically for Benson, into the toy room.  I am so excited to show it, as soon as I figure out the picture-space dilemma.  I'll get pictures up as soon as I can.

Overwhelmed

I know it happens to everyone.  But I am so overwhelmed with things to do, exhaustion, frustration, stress and worry that I am sitting here blogging about it rather than doing something about it.  We close on our house today.  That day is finally here!  And with it comes moving.  Packing, moving, ugh.  Painting, and home DIY projects.  All very exciting but also stressful and expensive.  I should be counting my blessings that my husband is lucky enough to have a job that pays for said house.  That we are lucky enough to buy the paint to paint said house.  But I still have that student phobia, that our money will run out, that we won't get another check in two weeks.  I guess it's a good phobia, in a way. 
Yesterday our apartment people told us that we have to pay them $450 in addition to the $1630 rent buy-out that we were planning on.  I'm upset.  Not mad necessarily.  Just upset.  Upset that we didn't see that in the contract clearly.  Upset that our math comes up with a different number.  Upset that it's one more thing we have to worry about.
Yesterday we also got a bill for our homeowners insurance.  It's supposed to be paid Dec 1 in one lump sum.  Yet another bill we weren't counting on.  For some reason, I had the idea that it would be a monthly payment.  Not the case.  Am I the only one that always seems to misunderstand these things?
And shouldn't I also be able to rest a little easier because I have the greatest husband in the world?  Seriously, how many men are sweet enough to write out such a long post?  I really do have the best husband in the world.
On that happier note, some funny things said around these parts lately.

Benson:  "Mommy, this shark is hungry."
Me:  "Oh really?  What will the shark eat?"
Benson: "Salt and milk."
Me: "sounds yummy bud."

Benson called out to me at around 1am the other night.  When I went in to him, he was groggy.  He said, "Mommy, I'm poopin."  Grunt.  "Will you change me?"

Benson and Vanessa frequently say the following phrases, I am sure they learned them from me.  I hear myself repeated back to me quite frequently these days.
"I have a good idea!"
"That's not a good idea."
"What are we doing today?"
"Dang it."
"Oh my gosh!"

Love of My Life

 Lynette recently asked me why I don't contribute to the blog anymore.  Truth is, she does such a great job I don't see how I can make it any better.  She wants to print it all out so that someday the kids can read it and I think that's a great idea.  For that reason I took a moment to consider what I want my kids, and anyone else for that matter, to remember most about me.  And that was simple; I want them to know that I love Lynette with all my heart.

The first time I saw Lynette I was lovestruck. Look at the pictures... who wouldn't be? To this day I don't know how I convinced her to go out with me, but she did and I thank the Lord for helping me out with that one. Right away she became so much more than the prettiest face in the world, and she continues to mean more and more to me everyday. She's my best friend, my much much much better half, and in short my reason for getting up in the morning.  I really can't imagine living life without her. 

If there was one word to describe Lynette it would be "amazing," and that would be an understatement. I am amazed at what she can do, and I'm not just talking about her incredible abilities as a mother and a wife, but her drive and persistence in everything she does. She pushes herself to be the best she can be in everything, which pushes me to do the same (and I definitely need that push). We jokingly say that she's stubborn, but really she just refuses to give up and will not give anything less than 100%. 

 I love her dedication to the kids.  I love the way she maintains good relationships with family and friends.  I love her faithfulness to God.  I love her sense of humor (which can be odd at times, but always entertaining).  I love her strong desire to learn and improve, and the way she always pushes herself.  I love that she always tries to make me happy even when I don't deserve it.  She is completely unselfish, caring, motivated, and is genuinely good to others.  I love that she puts God and family before anything else.  She is the most beautiful, amazing person I know.  Of course, anyone who knows her will say they love her too, but I can honestly say that I love her most!

Because I Feel I Should

I plan to print this blog as our family history.  Because of this, I have been thinking very carefully about what I want my children reading.  I want them to learn from my mistakes as well as grow from my testimony.  I want them to see how darn cute they were and all the cute things they said.  But there was a major area of our life that I have been unsure of what to write.  SMA.  I wasn't sure how Benson would feel reading about his life with SMA as a baby, how that impacted our life and how I felt watching all of it going on.  So, after stewing about it for weeks and a few prayers, I was still kind of unsure.  I asked my sister what she thought.  She mentioned how it's an opportunity for me to teach Benson through my blog.  I instantly knew that was my answer.  Maybe how I have learned to accept SMA will somehow help Benson accept it.  I pray that the Lord will inspire me as I write this blog.  I feel so inadequate to do this, to care for Benson, and to teach him the tools he will need in this life.  Parenting has been humbling, but this takes things to a whole new level.
I try to tell myself all the time that SMA doesn't make things that different for our family or for Benson.  I want him to experience life the same as someone who doesn't have SMA.  But in reality, everything is different.  My perspective is different.  It's not a bad different though, it's just different.  I love that poem, "Welcome to Holland."  The more time passes, the more I fully understand and appreciate this poem.  It's still an amazing journey, although it is a different one.  It's different experiences, different heart aches, different happiness.  Accepting it as different, and not a disappointment, is the key to accepting it.
I always imagined living in a three story home.  I thought we would have all our bedrooms upstairs and living areas downstairs.  I am slowly re-building my dream home in my mind.  It is a rambler, with minimal use of a basement and an elevator.  My dream car was probably the Yukon Denali.  I'm starting to look into mini-vans so that we can have a conversion kit for the power wheelchair.  Anytime I consider any toy for anyone in the family, I evaluate whether or not Benson would be able to play with it.  While I realize Vanessa has her own toys and Benson has his own toys, they both play with each other's toys all the time.  I want all the toys in our house to be accessible to both of them, at least while they are this young.  Plus, I feel like this will help build their relationship and help them play together better.  For our home remodel plans, the playroom is #2 on the list.  It's only #2 because #1 is painting a room that has some crazy colors and it's a quick job.  All our time and money after that will go into adapting a play area.  We have big plans for this room.  Jon and I are both super excited about it.  We want so badly for Benson to have more independence and be able to do what he wants, play with what he wants, when he wants.  Not when mom is done taking a shower, or dad is done feeding Brigham.
I have been very concerned lately with teaching our kids self-esteem and self-confidence.  I feel this will serve them well throughout their lives.  The thought that has been most strongly resonating with me lately has been to teach them the gospel.  I feel like I need to teach them that they are children of God, that He loves them unconditionally, and that is where they get their worth.  Not from being pretty, or strong, or stylish, or smart.  Now, I just have to figure out how to teach a 2 and 3 year old these things.  I have some ideas, so I'll update about how they are going.

Vanessa

I recently learned something new about Vanessa, with Jon's help.  First, I have to relate a story.

Vanessa recently started dance class.  They have a small recital coming up in December as a practice for the real deal in April.  I was careful to watch her dance through the cracked open door so I could practice with her at home.  At the end of the class, the teacher opens the door all the way and they can perform for the parents for the last five minutes of class.  As the parents filed in, Vanessa slowly looked more and more unsure until she burst into tears and ran into my arms.  She was not having performing with an audience. 

That afternoon, I downloaded the song they are dancing to and encouraged Vanessa to practice the dance with me.  She didn't even want to try.  It wasn't until about 6pm, that I finally convinced her to practice with me to show daddy her dance. 
When Jon got home and we showed him the dance, Vanessa told him she got scared and ran.  Jon wasn't surprised.  But I had been very surprised.  Jon pointed out how easily embarrassed Vanessa is and how she doesn't like doing things if she isn't sure she knows how.  She probably didn't want to dance because she was unsure of the dance and didn't want anyone to see that.

She reminds me of someone....me!  Is it really possible to have such similar personalities?  Why do I see so much of myself in this little girl of mine?  Do I imagine it or are these things really genetic?

Halloween Night Trunk or Treat

Vanessa was a lion this time and the boys were monsters again.  I loved her lion costume.  I thought she looked darling in it.  Jon found it at a thrift store for $3.  So our ward did a trunk or treat on the night of Halloween.  I feel like everything was going down on Halloween night and all at 6pm.  So we had to pick just one.  We decided to do the trunk or treat.  It was fun, but crazy.  Next year we are excited for a regular night of trick or treating in our own neighborhood.  I even hit a few stores and found the boys some superhero costumes on clearance.  And I may or may not have bought a bunch of clearance Halloween candy.  Ridiculous, I know.  But my kids didn't get much chocolate and I gotta satisfy those cravings.  Next year, we might even have to make Benson's wheelchair a batmobile or something cool.  Maybe he'll even have a power chair.  Oh my!

Election 2012

"We live in troubled times. I assure you that our Heavenly Father is mindful of the challenges we face. He loves each of us and desires to bless us and to help us. May we call upon Him in prayer, as He admonished when He said, “Pray always, and I will pour out my Spirit upon you, and great shall be your blessing—yea, even more than if you should obtain treasures of earth....

I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us.

My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith"

~President Monson, April 2012

"I am optimistic about the future. Brethren, for our part, we must remain steadfast in hope, work with all our strength, and trust in God."
~Dieter F Uchtdorf, October 2009

"After a long campaign, this is now a time for Americans to come together. It is a long tradition among Latter-day Saints to pray for our national leaders in our personal prayers and in our congregations. We invite Americans everywhere, whatever their political persuasion, to pray for the President, for his administration and the new Congress as they lead us through difficult and turbulent times. May our national leaders reflect the best in wisdom and judgment as they fulfill the great trust afforded to them by the American people.
We also commend Governor Romney for engaging at the highest level of our democratic process, which, by its nature, demands so much of those who offer themselves for public service. We wish him and his family every success in their future endeavors."
~The First Presidency, November 6, 2012

"It would be easy to become discouraged and cynical about the future—or even fearful of what might come—if we allowed ourselves to dwell only on that which is wrong in the world and in our lives. Today, however, I’d like us to turn our thoughts and our attitudes away from the troubles around us and to focus instead on our blessings as members of the Church. The Apostle Paul declared, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
~President Monson, April 2012

“Behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in [Him], they who have endured the crosses of the world, … they shall inherit the kingdom of God, … and their joy shall be full forever.”
~ 2 Ne. 9:18

I'm sad and worried.  Here is the comfort I found for today.

Fluffy Stuff

 This pic has nothing to do with making fluffy stuff but it was cute, so I added it :)

 On two occassions, we made fluffy stuff.  It is shaving cream and corn starch.  It felt like a cheap activity until I had to throw away all the fluffy stuff.  I hate throwing things away.  Haha.  But really, the two ingredients were only a couple dollars.  And it was a couple hours of entertainment.  Trade offs I guess.  Mom, if you are seeing these pics, let me assure you Benson is NOT falling over nearly as often and both of these were immediately after a nap, so falling risk was minimal.  And I stayed close by the whole time :)  I felt leaving them on the table would reduce the mess, but I don't know that it actually made a difference. 

Of course a bath immediately followed both.  I did let Brig touch it, but he kept sticking his fists in his mouth so that ended that.  He was happy watching and being painted by Benson.
Brigham is SO close to crawling but just not.  He'll get into this position, like he is about to get on hands and knees and then he goes back to sitting.  Baby boy, I can't wait for you to crawl.  I love the mobility stage!  You'll love it too.  I was so worried about what Benson would think when Brig started crawling but the other day he asked me when Brigh will start crawling.  We talk to Brig about crawling and try to help him learn.  Almost like we try to help Benson crawl and help him stand.  But he doesn't ask when he will crawl or walk.  This little man is wise beyond his two years.  I sure love them all and I am sure blessed to have them in my life.

Bass Pro Halloween

Trick or treating at the Bass Pro shops in Springfield.  Pretty much about the most amazing store ever.  Candy was a little on the slim side.  But the kids hardly cared.  Benson ate the chocolate as we went and Brigham played with Vanessa's wand.  Vanessa was happy running around with her peeps.  Jon wash happy talking with his friends and co-workers.  And I was excited for a little mommy time.  All in all, it was a good night.  On Halloween, we went trunk-or-treating.  More to come on that later!