Weight

On October 17, 2013 we had well child checks for Benson and Brigham.  They both had to get shots which they did okay with at the doctors but Brigham was a mess after.  And then he got a cold.  I feel like the shots overloaded his system so when he was exposed to a cold, he couldn't fight it off.  Have I mentioned before how much I hate vaccines?  I feel like they have become a necessary evil in a way.  As well as a blessing.  Thank heavens we don't have to see polio anymore, right?!  But, I just quickly wanted to document weights and all that. 
Benson weighed in at 23 lb. 8 oz. (0.13%) and he is exactly 36"(11.20%).  Take that Silver Dollar City!  (another post, for another day).  His blood pressure was 98/66.
Ironically, he gained the weight necessary for us to say he doesn't need the g tube.  But, since he fluctuates so easily and loses weight so easily, we have decided to still go ahead and do it.  We both feel relieved by the decision so it must be the right one!
Brigham weighed in at 22 lb. 12 oz. (26.86%) and 2'7" (13.48%).  Ironically, he is the weight Benson was last month, when we said we wanted Benson at 23 and a half pounds to feel ok about his weight.  I feel like my life is one irony after another.

Change of Plans

When Jon picks his vacation for work, he picks in November of the year before.  So last November we decided we wanted to go to Utah for Thanksgiving.  This will be our first Thanksgiving in Utah since 2009.  Crazy.  We picked the week before Thanksgiving and the week after and Jon got two full weeks for us to visit family.  That has been the plan all along.  Well, on conference weekend, I thought maybe it would be fun for the kids and I to drive out early to spend time with family and then go back with Jon.  No one like the idea of me driving the kids by myself.  So we finally decided we would fly.  We were able to get tickets with our points on Southwest and not have to pay.  Well, $15.  That worked out fabulously.  Though we were planning on saving those points to go to Cali next year :(  Hopefully something else will work out by then.  Anyway, some last minutes scrabbling resulted when I realized Benson would need all kinds of equipment.  We were able to find a stander to borrow but no power chair yet.  His is still in the works :(  He is going to be super sad, I just know it.  But hopefully we'll be able to make it fun without anyway.  We are leaving for Utah on November 4 and we'll drive home with Jon on November 30.  We'll be there a whole month.
It's ironic in a way, this idea popped in my head at a moment of frustration.  I just needed a break and Utah felt like the only way to get it.  The kids were crazy, the dog was crazy, I just felt like some extra hands would soothe my soul :)  But, it ended up being much more than that.  Jon and I have been praying and contemplating doing a G tube for Benson for a long time.  He has only gained 4 ounces in a year.  His weight bounces around in the 23 pound range.  He is 35 inches tall, when we really stretch him all the way out.  It's tough to get an accurate height on him.  Our kids are little and he is always going to be even smaller because of the lack of muscle.  But he is still underweight.  And, having such little muscle puts them at a very high risk of becoming hyperglycemic very quick.  They also have little muscle to break down during times of fasting.  Fasting for Benson is a scary situation.  When he gets sick, he doesn't like to eat much and this causes a lot of panic for me and Jon.  Having a g tube would eliminate that worry for this winter.  It would also ensure he is getting the calories he needs and hopefully help him gain a pound or two.  I am hoping that it'll give him a little more energy as well.  He is tiring so quickly lately :(  The cons of course, are that undergoing surgery is scary.  As well as the regular care of the button and possible infections that can come.  As well as added cost for a feeding pump and formulas. 
We have also been torn on getting a TLSO or back brace made.  This will offer him some support for his back and be a slight preventative measure for scoliosis.  Some cons are that they can offer too much support and someone will become dependent on them for sitting.  We definitely don't want
Benson to lose his ability to sit independently. 
It all sort of came together when we decided to go to Utah.  We got in to Shriners so they are going to do his back brace.  They really pulled some strings to get us in and we'll pick the brace up the day before Thanksgiving!  We also were able to get into Primary Children's for a g tube consult.  Dr Scaife will be the surgeon, hopefully.  I feel good about our decisions and I feel like everything worked out in such a way that I know God was directing things.  I made a million phone calls for a week and every night I would go to bed feeling utterly exhausted and defeated.  I would pray that one little piece would work out and the next day it would fall into place.  There were definitely some little miracles taking place.  I love feeling God's love for my son.  I know that he is watching over Benson and helping us make the right decisions for him.  Things couldn't have worked out any better.
All the kids are very excited for this trip.  They literally ask daily if we are going to Utah yet.  A concept of time would be super helpful here.  Vanessa has her first gymnastics meet on the pre team on November 2nd.  She told me last night that she is super nervous because she can't do a backward roll.  She said she did once but hasn't been able to do it since.  I told her to do her best and we would be proud of her no matter what.  After her meet, she won't do any gymnastics for all of November.  And then she has another meet when we get back on December 7th.  I hope that ends up working out okay.  I'm not sure what I should have her do so she doesn't go back and end up getting hurt or something.  She said she is ready for a break though so I think it'll be a good change for her.  We are going to do swimming lessons with her cousin while we're in Utah.  And she's super excited about that.
Brigham has no idea what is going on but he gets excited when the kids get excited.  He is completely out of his phase of not liking people and actually likes anyone now.  Or, anyone that will pay attention and do what he commands.  He is still very stubborn and full of mischief.  He likes to run in the street when we tell him to stay on the sidewalk and he likes to throw his food when we tell him to keep it on his plate.  Basically, he's 18 months! 

Family Pics 2013

Photo bomb.  I don't have time to write all the crazy shenanigans going on right now.  But, I'll update soon.  For now, here are our family pics for this year.  Love them.  Thanks to Danae for helping us pull it off.  The kids burned out before we could get any individuals so that will require further bribery.  They will definitely be posted when we have come up with a sufficient reward (in their minds anyway).  Which one should we frame this year?

Meet Rocky

Jon and I have been talking about getting a dog for a long time.  I wanted to get one back in May, around Vanessa's birthday.  I was leaning towards a King Charles Spaniel.  But Jon had always wanted a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever a.k.a Toller.  However, Jon felt like we need more property to get a toller.  So he wasn't too keen on the whole idea yet.  After more reading and research, we decided a toller would be ok with our quarter acre.  We looked for a while and finally found a breeder in Oklahoma with a litter born July 24.  They would be ready to go home on September 18th, at 8 weeks.  So, on September 20, we met the family in Tulsa, OK and met our new addition to our family.  Isn't he cute?!

 Tollers are supposed to be great swimmers so we had to take him to the lake to try out these swimming skills.  We went up to Fellows Lake on Wednesday.  He's not a fan quite yet.  Although we've heard it can take another month or so before they really feel ready.  Rocky didn't get in much, the kids however, inched closer and closer until they were soaked.

This is probably  my favorite picture of the night.  Notice what Brigham is sitting on.  This kid just continues to crack me up.

So everyone that said having a puppy is almost harder than having a baby, was right in some ways.  Or at least I would have agreed with you for the first couple days.  The constant potty trips, I can do.  I'm even ok with two potty trips in the middle of the night.  It's the whining that is darn near unbearable.  Puppies are also harder than babies because they can move.   You put a baby down, they stay there!  And babies wear diapers.  Those blessed pieces of cotton that we all hate changing is so much better than the kitchen floor!  Having said that, it's not as bad as I was expecting to be either.  The kids love to play with him and pet him and generally smother him.  Vanessa is a bit nervous of him because he is such a little biter.  Brigham is pretty cautious as well but he can give the poor pup a run for his money.  And Benson is so chill about him.  He likes to bite Benson's toes.  But Benson will just tell me in a totally calm voice, "he's biting me mom."  Vanessa basically bursts into tears if she feels Rocky's teeth.  We're trying to turn him into a chew-toy-aholic but it isn't as easy as the books said it would be.  He is learning quickly.  He has mastered sitting.  Which is wildly necessary.  He is also grasping potty training pretty well.  We have had accidents, but they're always our fault because we didn't take him out soon enough or stay long enough out there.  The whining is slowly getting better.  The biting will hopefully slow down here in the next few weeks when his puppy teeth all fall out.  That will be a great day.  We are doing crate training and it's kind of rough.  But also keeps your sanity.  It's nice to be able to put them in there, and not have to worry about them making a mess.  They can't.  But it's also where all that whining comes into play.  Rocky loves to be right with you at all times.  I don't think he ever wore a leash prior to coming to our home and he was very resistant to this idea at first.  He's stubborn, but he's slowly coming around.  He likes to sit and refuse to move when you put the leash on him.  If he doesn't have a leash, he stays right under your feet anyway.  But something about it being there, just makes him mad.  It's a work in progress I suppose.  Other things he is learning: he can sit, lay down, and play fetch.  We are working on stand, drop it, and kennel commands. 
A dynamic of our relationship has come out yet again with this puppy.  I am such a read-around, talk to everyone who owns a puppy kind of person.  Jon is more of a wing-it and figure it out for myself kind of guy.  It can cause a few ruffled feathers occasionally, mostly because I can be a bit stubborn about my ideas.  But in the end, I think our "ways" end up complimenting each other.  As they always have.  I know what the "experts" say and Jon is able to make it work in the "real world" and then tell me over and over that it doesn't have to work like the "experts" think it should.  But we make a mix-mash of what works for us.  I hope we train this puppy to be awesome.  We've got big goals for this dude.  Can you see service dog training in your future, Little Rocky?  I sure hope so!
I should also include how we chose his name.  When Jon got off the phone with the breeder and had "sealed the deal" on the dog.  They told him to pick a name and let them know and they would call the dog that to teach him his name.  Jon was wearing a Rocky shirt.  So my first suggestion, was hey, What about Rocky?  The kids heard me and that was their final answer.  We came up with a million other names but the kids stuck with Rocky.  The breeders kept saying it fits him.  I can see why.  He's stubborn, like a rock :)

The Birthday Bash

Benson's birthday was on a Sunday this year.  We debated doing a chill get together with some friends but decided he would ultimately have the most fun just chillin with the fam.  So it worked out perfectly when Mercy had their fall fest at the zoo on the Saturday before his birthday.  We got into the zoo, got to ride the train, face painting, and snacks; all for FREE!  That means all the cash went into his presents overload.  Benson wanted cars, cars, and more cars for his birthday.  So, of course, Jon and I got him lots of cars, but also some planes, a hot wheels race track, My Little Ponies (yes we caved), and well, more cars.  Jon's parents got him a very cute remote control car.  Steven and Jenny sent him a Cars book with little cars figures.  My parents got him the My Little Pony season 2 DVD (I told them of his obsession), as well as a remote control car, a Shake and Go Lightning McQueen, and more ponies.  We are very excited that we found plenty of things that he loves to play with and he can drive both cars!
We had a blast at the zoo.  We took the k450 power chair out for the first time.  We are using this chair on "loaner" status to figure out which one we would like to get for him.  He was still figuring out the control of the k450 so it was a little tricky since it was a busy day at the zoo.  We were glad we went early because it started to get really busy around 1, when we left.  Overall though, he did a great job. 
On Sunday, we got the kids ready really early so we could open present before church and then just let them play.  After church, we did facetime with family while opening gifts from them.  For his birthday dinner, Benson wanted pizza and donuts.  Um, yes please!  I can totally do that.  It was a tasty dinner and Benson definitely loved having his donuts.

Oh The Irony

Today is Benson's birthday!  And I will post all about it as soon as I download pictures.  First, I have to document Friday because it was a day that will go down in history.  I won't say it was my worst day as a parent ever, but it's probably in the top 5 (we'll group Brigham's months 2-5 into one category).  First I have to mention how ironic it has been that every time one child starts to get over a tough phase, a different one will act up.  My parents say this is how kids operate, it's a sixth sense that makes you sleep deprived and crazy for at least the next 18 years!
So....thank you Brigham for starting to get easier and helllloooooo terrible threes for Benson.
Friday started out like any Friday.  Slow.  We don't have preschool so we can be lazy getting out of bed and getting ready for the day.  Benson woke up whiny it felt like.  He has been sick so he doesn't sleep as well and I am sure that had a lot to do with it.  We got a few things done around the house in the morning and then some friends stopped by to play.  Benson whined most of the time and demanded that I get this or that, move him here or there.  After our friends left, got some lunch.  I put Brigham down for a nap.   Then Benson wanted a drink.  I got him a sippy cup but it was the wrong sippy cup, apparently.  Rather than ask for a different one, he immediately threw a fit.  Tired symptom right there.  I told him he couldn't have a new cup until he could ask nicely.  Wasn't happening.  I took the lid off the sippy and let him drink some water straight out of the cup.  Which he did and then spit all over me.  Awesome.  I picked him up and plopped him on his bed.  I tried to explain in a calm voice why he was in time out but he was screaming like crazy and I started yelling to try to talk over him so I had to just walk out.  I'm guessing it wasn't hard to figure out why he was in time-out anyway.  So, twenty minutes later, he is still screaming.  I waited until he stopped for a breath before going in to talk to him.  This way I was at least going in when he wasn't crying.  I took him to the kitchen for a drink because he said he was still thirsty.  I gave him a drink and a snack.  Then went back to mopping and vacuuming the floor.  I went back over to the table and Benson very happily declared to me that he had "made a mess."  And that he had.  He had dumped out all his water and thrown his apple straws all over the floor.  I picked him up and plopped him back on his bed.  No talking this time.  I knew I would lose it.  While he was screaming this go round, the DME dropped off two power chairs for us to try out and decide which we like.  Thirty minutes later, Benson was still crying though not screaming.  He was losing steam, phew.  Vanessa had gone to play at a friend's house so I went and got Benson, and sat him on the couch next to me.  I told him I was going to read a book and he was going to go to sleep.  I didn't look at him or talk to him again and he was out in 5 minutes.  He slept for almost three hours.  He was fine for an hour or so, back to happy enjoyable Benson, but then he got ornery again.  He was doing okay-ish until bedtime when he threw a full out fit in the tub because I wouldn't search the house for a pony, while he was bathing.  Not gonna happen buddy.  I got him out, which made him even more mad.  I told him it was time for bed and started brushing his teeth.  He didn't want his teeth brushed.  Maybe I should have just dropped the idea but I decided to use my finger to open his mouth just a bit to brush quickly.  Instead he bit me.  As hard as he could and he wouldn't let go!  I tried to pull it out and finally screamed because it was seriously hurting!  Jon came running in to see what had happened and took over from there.  He made Benson come apologize and Benson did eventually fall asleep.  Luckily, he hasn't been quite that crazy the last two days.  I'm hoping this isn't a sign of him being irrational on a regular basis.  He's in that horrible phase where he doesn't want naps anymore but he still needs them to make it through the day.  It's a dreadful time really.  I remember doing this with Vanessa too so I know it's a phase, but man oh man.  It is trying on my patience and parenting skills. 
Random funny: each time I've brushed his teeth the last two days Benson has told me he promises not to bite me.  Haha.  At least now I know I don't have to worry about his jaw strength.  My finger seriously hurt the rest of the night.  He didn't break the skin, but he mostly had nail. 
It seems like this has happened often.  We realized something was wrong with Benson's legs just weeks after getting pregnant with Brigham.  We got things under control with Benson just as Brigham's colic started.  Brigham was just an all around hard baby for a good 16 months.  He was just starting to get easier and now Benson is kicking it into gear.  And, we're getting a puppy.  Hopefully the puppy will make everyone else put on their best behavior.  Only one child/dog can misbehave in this house at a time.  Vanessa, thank you for being such an easy child.  Please keep it up and we promise not to ignore you :)

Gifts

I have recently been pondering on the gifts my children have each been given.  Things that I can see in them at such a young and tender age.  It makes me proud of them in ways I can't express and in awe of them as well.  I truly learn more from them than anything else in this life.  Being a wife and mother has made me strive to be better for them.  To better myself so that they have an example and so that our home will carry the Spirit.  As each child grows, more of their personality, likes and dislikes, and gifts begin to develop and I love watching them unfold.  I often feel I have so little to do with the whole process and yet so much as well. 

Vanessa has always had a gift of being a good friend.  She is very social and loves to be with friends.  And other kids love to be with her.  She is kind.  She plays well with other children.  This doesn't mean she doesn't throw an occasional four year old fit, but I am consistently amazed at how well she can play with kids compared to kids her age or even older.  She will always include everyone and I have honestly never heard her say anything hurtful to anyone.
Vanessa also has a deep love of Christ and learning about Christ.  She loves to pray.  She loves church.  I feel like at four years old, she accepts everything about the Gospel and will easily acquire a very firm testimony.

Benson has a mind like steel trap.  He is literally amazing to me.  He can keep track of things better than Jon and I.  He knows where he leaves things.  He remembers everything we say to him.  He refers back to conversations from days before, things that are relevant to what we are currently doing or talking about.  This is not typical turning-three-in-a-few-weeks behavior.  He can spell his name.  He knows most letters.  I have no idea if he knows his numbers by sight but he can count to 12 or so.  He knows the words to many songs and enjoys to sing them with me.  His current favorite is the Wise Man Built His House Upon a Rock.

Brigham has a talent for making us laugh.  He has a contagious laugh himself.  If he is in a really giggly mood, I can't help but start laughing with him, which makes him laugh more and more and more.  He is goofy and he loves it.  He loves attention.  He loves being silly.  He loves to see us laugh.

Preschool

Vanessa is officially in preschool and this was her first day.  We didn't have a lot of time because getting her to the school by 9am is crazy.  But I did manage to get a few shots off before we left.  I adore this girl.

 I busted out the play dough and was happy that we can play with it without anyone trying to consume it.  Yay!  Let the play dough messes commence once again.

 I had to stick Brig in the sink after one particularly messy lunch and then went to get a towel seeing how he was so wet.  I left the water running and when I came back, he had sat on the drain and was really happy with himself.

Benson is in undies full time!  We are doing sticker charts and when the kids earn ten stickers they get a trip to the prize bucket.  Benson can earn stickers for going potty, doing his stander or vest, brushing his teeth without fighting, trying everything on his plate.  Vanessa can earn stickers for getting dressed, brushing her teeth, trying everything on her plate, making her bed, picking up her room or the toy room, or doing little helper chores.

SMA CANDLES

We are so blessed to have wonderful family and friends that support us in our fight against SMA.  On August 10th, there was nation-wide candle lighting for all families affected by SMA.  We asked anyone that did this in Benson's honor to send us pictures.

from Grandma and Grampa Purdy, the Hales, and the Croslands

from the Lyms

from the Doughertys

from Jared and Michelle Aller in California

from Natalie Stockdale Pakiz

Thanks to everyone for everything.  Here are our pictures.