CoSleeping

If you let your kids sleep in your bed, sometimes things get a little crazy up in here.  It can turn into a space war.  Jon took this pic before leaving for work one morning in the wee hours.  You can't see Vanessa and Benson super clear, but they each have an elbow or fist in the other's face.  I know a lot of people think it's super crazy to let your kids in your bed, but I still don't regret the decision.  There are downsides, but there are with every choice you make as a parent.  Vanessa and Benson both start in their own bed.  Vanessa wonders down around midnight most nights.  Sometimes she makes it through the whole night and sometimes until 3 or 4.  Benson we obviously have to carry in.  But he usually wakes up and asks to come to our room and I feel bad saying no, when Vanessa and Brigham are obviously in there.  We haven't even bothered to set up the crib this baby.  We usually had some type of crib apparatus set up when Vanessa and Benson were babes.  But with Brigham I finally admitted that it was taking up space and we don't even use it.  I just worry too darn much when they are bitty and don't sleep well unless they are right next to me.  It's been a good solution for us.  This time in their lives will pass so soon and I'm going to miss being kicked in the face in the middle of the night.  Ok, maybe not the kicking, but probably the cuddles.

Another Floor Picture

Check it out! Progress.  This is how the path into the playroom looks.  I don't think I explained earlier, but since we cut out the corner of the wall, we had a triangle space in the hall that needed some type of flooring.  It was now in the hall but had been wall.  Does that even make a bit of sense?  Anyway, we decided to make a path to try to get it to flow better.  One day, we may finish off the hallway with the Walnut wood, but here is the product for now.  Nevermind that the floors are STILL dirty.  I have mopped 500 times and can't seem to get all the sawdust and wallboard dust.  I think I need a new mop.  It certainly couldn't be the mopper!

Dating for Moms

I copied and pasted this because it just made me laugh, even if it is slightly crude.  It was also a good reminder to me that women need other women.  And not just on a "Hey, your kid is cute" kind of basis.  We need intense, personal conversation that just isn't appealing to men.  I, for one, forget this all too often and want Jon to be my husband and my best friend.  He just wants to be my husband.  You can find the original article here

Dating for Moms
You get married.  You conjure up some kids.  You’ve kissed dating goodbye.
Or have you?
When you show up at the park for the first time with your little ones spilling out of the van (along with a healthy amount of cups and dirty napkins, if you’re like me), scan the swingset for anyone you might recognize, and notice that all the other moms are already hanging out in pairs, you realize that your dating years have only just begun.
When you were dating your man, you ate dinners for which you didn’t pay and walked through doors that he opened for you.  When you date other moms, you pack extra baggies of healthy snacks and push doors open with your face while schlepping car seats.  When you were dating your man, you wore incredible outfits and said, “Oh this old thing?  I just threw it on last minute.”  When you date other moms, you wear tees and yoga pants and say, “Oh this old thing?  My toddler just threw up on it.”
I’ve recently met a new friend and I was thinking about our budding mom-lationship.  Our kids attend some of the same activities, and we’ve enjoyed chatting while they harass their various coaches.  I really like her, and I think she likes me, too.  It’s like dating for moms.  And just like the other kind of dating, there are bases.

First Base

First base is hanging out while your kids are in activities together.  You make encouraging comments about each others’ kids as they scream hysterically and hit each other with kick boards and pretend light sabers.  I like to go ahead and act a little weird on first base, just to give them a taste for where they’re headed if they stick with me.  I’m terrible at small talk, so if I survive this phase with another mom, then I know she’s either desperate for a friend or really into me.  I go too deep too soon, which scares off a mom just asking how many kids do I have.  ”Do you mean in my home, or in orphanages around the world?  Here locally, or in a village in Uganda?  Have you ever considered sponsoring a child?  Wait, where are you going?  Wanna hear about malaria and deworming?”

Second Base

Second base is a park play date outside of scheduled activities.  At this point, you’re hanging out because you want to and you set it up ahead of time.  Your kids like each other.  You like each other.  This could be the start of something beautiful.  At the park, you’re still on neutral territory.  I usually throw in a snort laugh right around here.  The conversation could wade into deeper waters.  Someone might toss out an opinion or two.  Keep it loving, girls.  Keep it gracious.  If you love gluten-free, feel free to talk about it.  If you love Jesus, feel free to talk about Him.  Just don’t start talking in absolutes, making broad, generalizing statements, because you may never make it to third.
We do that sometimes, don’t we?
Overly-intense eye contact.  Never use while discussing homeschooling, gluten, gun control, breastfeeding, marriage, red dye number 40, infertility, or Jesus.  I may have left a few things out.  If there’s a subject that might cause you to stop blinking and/or breathing, save it for fourth base and don’t unleash it at the park.
They might feel like this:

Third Base

Third base is a play date at one of our houses.  This is a tricky base because your kids are now on home court and your new friend is going to see your daughter body slam her toddler to the ground and take back the toy that he just picked up.  She will see the layer of dried-on grime coating your kid’s chair at the table, and she will notice the unflushed dooky from your son’s morning dump.  Third base is not for the weak.  It’s about to get real up in here.  There could be laundry piles.  You better have the relational stamina for this kind of commitment.  By third base, I’m full frontal hugging, so prepare for that.  If you’re my third base friend, get ready for our boobs smashed up together while I ask how you’re doing right in your ear.  If you answer that with any kind of trauma, I’m a-gonna pull it right back together for another mash up, breathe some words of encouragement into your ear, then pull back for some heavy eye contact.  (Upon reading this, my husband informed me, “Who are you kidding?  You’re easy.  You go for full frontal hugging on first base.”  So I’m a hug-slut.  Bring it in, ladies.  I’m ready.  If this sounds appealing to you, click the “hug me” button on the right for some digital love.)

Fourth base

Fourth base is hanging out without the kids.  I know.  Whoa.  The kids have become optional.  You can actually meet at a restaurant, movie theater, coffee shop, or bookstore and talk.  Uninterrupted.  For hours.  Just because you want to, not because you’re killing time while your kids do their thing.  You have arrived.  This person is worth spraying on your fancy jeans.  Feel free to bust out your full-blown honk laugh, talk about how soy gives you diarrhea, and how you worry that you’re a crappy mom.  You’ve found your person.  She loves you for you.
To my fourth-basers:  I love you more than words can say.  Let’s get our date on soon.  I’ll dust off my fancy jeans, we can eat Thai coconut soup and talk about not our kids.  We’re gonna get hot and heavy, mom-style.  Fourth base for moms is so much better than dating fourth base.  There’s dessert, staying out till the security guard kicks you out of the mall parking lot, and no walk of shame as you crawl into bed next to your racked out hubs.  One fourth-base mom date will last me for a couple of months.  It’s just that fulfilling.
Jump in, girls.  Dating for moms is super fun, and you just might get lucky.

Brigham is 14 months

I never posted about Brigham when he turned one.  It was a crazy time, since we were in Utah.  So here is a bit about Brigham.  Brigham has a very dynamic, intense personality.  He is both ends of the spectrum, at any given time.  He is a crack-up and loves to make people laugh.  He is also very stubborn and will have his way.  He wants a bite or drink of everything everyone in the house eats/drinks.  He gets jealous if one of the other kids is sitting on my lap and will push/pull/hit/cry until he is included in the lap sitting.  He still uses a binky to go to sleep though I have completely finished nursing him as of the last 48 hours.  He loves to play peek a boo.  It has been his favorite game since he was about 8 months.  He isn't walking, but probably could if he decided that was something he wanted to do.  He has amazing balance and climbing skills for a kid his age.  He has recently started climbing onto everything; the dining room table, the couch table, out of the tub, into the tub, etc.  The other day he climbed on top of the Radio Flyer wagon.  He stood on the part where you are supposed to sit and rocked it back and forth.  That was the moment where I was sure he has to have the balance to walk.  He wasn't even wobbly up there.  That boy just has no desire to walk.  All in due time I guess.  He isn't much of a talker.  He babbles like he is having a full conversation with you, but actually words are hard to catch.  He does say "hi-da," all in one word when Jon comes home, so we'll give him credit for that one.  He says dada appropriately but rarely calls me mama.  He just yells or something for my attention.  Brigham is still very cuddly and loves to give hugs and kisses.  Brigham drinks a gallon of liquid a day.  Okay, not really, but for his age and size, I feel like he drinks a lot.  He will scream in his high chair until I remember to get him a drink.  He loves playing in water.  He will climb into any buckets of water we try to set out for the kids to do water activities in.  He has also decided he loves to lay in the bath so we can't put in much water anymore, much to Vanessa and Benson's dislike.  But he will also stay in for about ten minutes and then climbs out.  Vanessa and Benson could be in there all day.  Brigham throws tantrums like a pro.  He flops onto the ground and throws his head into his hands and everything.  He's a natural.  He will also wait until we make eye contact to throw said tantrum.  And if I walk away, he'll follow and start the whole display over again.  Brigham likes to be in on everything, to be one of the gang.  He likes getting his hands dirty and touching, seeing everything.  He will point and babble on some incomprehensible chatter and then carry on, like we understand everything that just poured out of that baby mouth.  We are in the works planning some pictures of the kids, so I will post those soon.  But we feel very lucky to have this handsome, handful of a man in our family!

Accessibility

Having our house accessible so Benson can have as much independence as possible is really important to us. So we tore out the carpet to put down wood. Carpet is tough rolling you see. We also opened up a wall and put in a doorway. This makes the playroom more accessible to Benson and just opens up the whole area. Added bonus we didn't expect was some nice morning light from the window in that room.
It began with ripping the carpet out and then contemplating that wall.  It was WAY more complicated than I even expected.

 But we did finally execute and then there was no turning back.

My in-laws drove the wood for the floor to Missouri from Utah and helped rip out the wall and put up a doorway.  We definitely would not have done the wall project without my father-in-law's help.  It was intense and we had no clue where to start.  Sadly, they were only able to spend two days and it took those entire two days to get the door framed and hung.

It was around this time that Jon sustained an injury.  He just chopped off the end of his thumb.  The dr decided not to do stitches.  That whole black chunk of skin ended up falling off though.  Should have done the stitches.  He's going to have a wicked scar.

 

Here is the door all hung and two rows of the floor in. Let's also note that the first two rows took a couple hours.  I think that was a night in itself, just trying to get started.

Our dining nook looked like this while we were under construction.  It got annoying fast :)

Brigham always wanted to be right in the thick of things.  He wants to see, do, and touch everything the guys do.  I moved in front of him once and was quickly reprimanded and shoved out of the way.

 Progress baby!

 It took a little over a week to get the family room done.  Here is the view from above, almost there.

I haven't taken any completed pictures, though the family room is done.  The path leading to the playroom is not quite done so I will update soon.  In the mean time, here is a funny sequence of Vanessa and Brigham eating some Pirate Booty.

 We also had quite the surprise for Missouri and our garden.  It snowed!  In May!  In Southern Missouri!  WHAT?!!!?!!

 

Mitchell's Journey

I've been following this story on facebook of a family who recently lost their son who was just 10 years old to complications from Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.  I started following back before Mitch died, but it was only a week or so.  I cried with this family I have never met reading their accounts of their last few days with him, then the funeral, and then the grieving that comes afterwords.  The father usually posts now, recounting stories of lessons they learned as a family while Mitch was alive.  I cry just thinking about it.  It hits home so hard.  Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm crying because of this family or because of Benson.  The lessons they share are beautiful though.  He recently talked of going to a track meet and seeing everyone using all their physical strength being hard for Mitch.  The dad talked to him about how every person has their own race to run and we can't compare to others.  We can only work to be better than the person we were yesterday.  He talked of special olympics, something I had completely forgotten about and hope one day Benson can participate.  Their family is such an inspiration to me.  I hope that I can offer the lessons of spiritual growth and strength to Benson, Vanessa and Brigham that this family gave their kids.

My Husband, the Artist

I had no idea I married such a gifed photographer.  I was the one with the obsession when we got married.  The one that had always wanted to be a photographer but never had the guts to do it.  Jon actually bought we my first SLR, it was 35mm so I could shoot in black and white and develop my own film.  One day, I'll have a dark room.  Because there's just something about having a picture suddenly immerge onto a blank white paper that is so oddly fascinating.  When we decided to get our first DSLR, Jon started picking up photography too.  Pretty much he's freaking amazing.  Like everything he does.  He's just a talented man, aren't I lucky?!

 

Lym Family Pictures

I wish we could go shoot our family pictures here because this place rocked.  It was so fun shooting amongst all the trains.  I love love love these people (they're family) and so of course it was fun to do this shoot with them. 

 

They are heading to Seattle in a month or so and we probably won't see them again until Thanksgiving.  Sad day, living so far from family.  But we sure love them!

How Does Your Garden Grow

The Garden Project.  Oh, what a project.  We already have one garden box from a previous owner.  It was 3'x5' or something, I think.  But it was in the worst spot in the yard.  Literally, I have no idea how they grew anything there.  It was in the shade until 4pm.  So, in an attempt to keep it thrifty, we decided we would just move that box over to a sunny spot, and build another to match.  But it was only 6" deep and we felt like we wanted it to be a little deeper than that, so after digging all the grass out, we dug a big hole.  The plan was to put the weed barrier down, and then level the dirt, place box and done.  Ha!  Nothing is ever that simple.  Intro wires.  Totally in our way.  Shoulda called on that.  Although, I can't say that it would have changed our placement.  It's a good spot, I think.  Back up to pre-garden box idea because the first plan was to consider doing an in-ground garden.  That idea was gone as soon as I started digging in this....stuff.  It's clay/rocks with a little dirt in the mix.  So two ideas were now being scratched and we went back to the drawing board.  I got to fill in that awesome hole I spent two hours digging.  It was an awesome workout and the kids did enjoy playing in it and finding snakes worms.  They're just HUGE!

The old box we had didn't feel deep enough.  Even though Square Foot Gardening says you only need 6", we felt we wanted 12".  Especially because we were putting the weed barrier down and the ground underneath would be completely impossible for weeds to grow in.  So Jon went and bought some ridiculously priced wood, that was the best price we could find, and built some boxes.  We used untreated cedar, so we don't have to worry about anything leaking into the soil and cedar is rot-resistant.  And we drew up a new size to get the most square footage out of our rectangle that we had already ripped up.

Don't the boxes look amazing though?!  I'm always impressed with Jon.  He goes the extra mile to make them look nice, like routing the sides to give them beveled edges, etc.  The stones in this pic are stones that we already had, we think they were laid down for a grill.  There are only six though, so we aren't sure what we'll do with them.  We can't find any to match.

It took forever to get the "mix."  And it was more way expensive than I like to remember.  The peat moss was cheap at least.  I think that cost $10 for all three.  We didn't buy nearly enough vermiculite.  The square foot gardening "recipe" says to use 1/3 vermiculite, 1/3 peat moss, and 1/3 compost.  Had we bought that much vermiculite, it would have been $200!  And I called around to at least five places.  That was the cheapest we could find!  We got compost from four different places, though I don't know how many sources we actually had.  We used cotton-burr, compost from the local recycle plant which is yard waste, compost from Carson's which they said has all kinds of crazy stuff but couldn't tell me what, and cow manure.  That's right, I bucked up and went with a manure.  I bought the cheap bags from Lowes.  At that point, I was sick of spending money on dirt and poop and just wanted something cheap.  The sales associate said it's actually a mix, with lots of fillers so it was probably only 50% manure.  I was nervous to use it, but it looked like black dirt and didn't have a smell, other than earthy.  At first, I didn't want to touch any of it with my hands.  I got away with not touching it while mixing, but once it was time to plant, I kind of had to.  It wasn't too bad and my hands didn't stink or anything after.  So I guess the manure was okay.  There were people advertising on craigslist, that you could have their horse manure or rabbit manure or whatever.  But that was a little too real for me.  I'll take the bagged stuff from Lowes that is already composted and I don't have to take my pitch fork and clean your barn.  Maybe we'll get the kids a rabbit that can poop in the garden all winter long.

 Square foot gardening says you have to have a grid.  But, I was WAY past the point of spending more money on these boxes.  This was supposed to be a $100-weekend project.  It was way over the price and took like two weeks or something.  So, back to the grid.  I used duct tape and string to plant.  It didn't last long, obviously.  But I did eventually go to Lowes and check out prices for the lattice board.  It would have been almost $50 to get enough.  So I bought little hooks for $1.50 and now the string is permanent.  It even remains after our last storm.

 Jon has been working on putting in a cement border around the garden now.  He has two of the four sides done.  It only takes an hour or so to get one side done, but then you have to wait for like two days before taking off the boards/forms.  And we didn't buy a ton of those.  So it's kind of a drawn out process. 

One idea I really liked in the square foot gardening book is that you plant in rotation.  So you don't plant all your tomatoes at once, or all your cucumbers, etc.  You plant one of everything, then plant again in a week.  That way, everything isn't coming to harvest at the same time.  And you have some give in when things need to be planted, so it's kind of fun to try.  It might not make a difference for some of our vegetables.  But at least we won't have 40 carrots ready to be pulled in a week.  Maybe we'll get 10 or so.  We are planting almost everything from seed.  Except strawberries, I bought those and planted them all, obviously.  They aren't too expensive though.  I bought some of the pricier ones, because they looked healthier and they were $8.00 for 25.  We won't get many strawberries this year, so we'll for sure have to stick around here for at least three years, until the strawberries don't produce anymore.  I have also planted corn, green onions, peas (I was probably too late on those, but we'll give it a shot), basil, rosemary, parsley, cilantro, cucumber, tomatoes, cantaloupe, and carrots.  I might be forgetting something, but I think that covers it.  I didn't want to get too crazy this year and get overwhelmed but I kept going back for different new kinds of seeds.  I would read about growing another vegetable and think, I love that one fresh, I better get those.  I just really hope this makes the kids love eating fruits and vegetables.  We'll see how green our thumb is now.  I'll post some pics once we have some growth and the cement border is done.

Is It Just Me or Is It The Time of Year?

I feel like we had this dead lull at our house.  Right before we left for Utah, it was like we were waiting for spring, waiting to go, and just kind of hanging out.  Ever since we have been back, it has been insane.  Vacation recovery and spring mixture make life crazy?  We are trying to get our garden in and it has been this weekend project turned 10 day and counting project.  But it'll get a post and some pics soon.  We have also been crazy with dr appointments.  Our typical week has gymnastics on Monday morning for Vanessa and water therapy in the afternoon for Benson.  Then Thurs we have PT but she comes to the house, so it isn't really too crazy.  The two weeks after coming home for Utah we had one or two appointments per day, most days of the week.  Oh, and two make-up classes for gymnastics. It was exhausting.  Because of course, all appointments are scheduled during regular working hours so it's me and the kiddos.  How do families with both parents working handle kids with extra medical needs?!  You would never be able to actually work!  I have been up way too late on too many nights, planning our garden, learning about gardening and trying to plan Vanessa's birthday.  It is a bit of a shocker that I am actually trying to get ahead of the game on a holiday (birthdays are holidays, right?).  I plan to get it figured out, pre-birthday week.  But, if this garden keeps taking so much time, it won't happen.  I really want to make her a floor pouf with a hanging canopy above it for an adorable nook that she would adore.  Here is my inspiration from Pottery Barn.  It's $140.  I still need to price out fabric to see if I can do it cheaper.  I think I can.  If not, well, she might get a sheet teepee or something ;)

And here is the floor pouf idea.  Though I don't love the fringe on here.  And I found another tutorial that has pieced sections that I think I might actually like better.  It will all be pink and purple, of course.

While we are talking about Vanessa, she has recently became friends with the entire neighborhood, okay maybe just our whole street.  Yesterday, we made her come inside to eat dinner and in that 45 minutes, three different friends came to the door to ask if she could play.  They are all older elementary ages, ranging from 5-10 probably.  We have strict rules that she has to stay in the front yards where we can keep an eye on her.  It hasn't been a big deal because we have been outside working on the yard ourselves.  But I'm nervous and not really sure what we'll do when we can't be outside as well.  It's funny to me though that they all love to play with this little 4 year old.  Tonight, three brothers came into the backyard and played with all three of the kids while Jon and I mixed the garden boxes.  They were so sweet with all the kids and so concerned everytime Brigham threw one of his tantrums.  Benson tipped over one time and one of the boys came running to tell me because I was getting a load from the truck.  Another boy gave Benson his coat because he said he was cold.  I didn't have much hope for our kids having friends in the neighborhood, because it didn't seem like there were many "babies."  Guess I was wrong.

Bedtime Prayers

Bedtime prayers with Benson:

Me: "Do you want to pray or do you want me to?"
Bens: "I don't want to pray."
Me: "Why? Heavenly Father loves it when we talk to him."
Bens: "So he brings us presents?"
Me: "I guess kind of. He gives us blessings. But they're even better than presents."
Bens: "So, like cars?"

Oh the simplicity of being 2

Easter

When we scheduled Jon's time off to go out to Utah it was November of 2012.  And the night before the meeting, we decided we better throw an idea together of what we wanted for vacation.  We knew Benson needed a dr appointment at Primary's so we based our trip around that.  Feb/March time was about right, add in that Brig and I had birthdays, bam, last two weeks of March it was.  We didn't even bother to pull out a calendar and see that Easter weekend would be the weekend we would be traveling.  But, such is life.  So, we drove for most of Easter Sunday.  We did however, do small Easter activities and of course, had a good discussion (as good as it gets with 4 yrs and under) about the TRUE meaning of Easter.  I mentioned in my Utah week 1 post that we died eggs with the Purdy fam.  I did fail to mention though that we died eggs and did an Easter egg hunt with the Bradys as well.  We did this on Friday.  It was H-E-C-T-I-C.  The boys, for whatever reason, decided it was a good time to play some ball right as we were busting out the egg dying.  So it was the chillins and the women.  Never enough hands.  Anyway, we hid some eggs and the kids found them and also died eggs.  I was trying to take pictures and help Benson find eggs and it didn't work.  And Vanessa was upset because she wasn't as fast at finding the eggs as the other kids and they were taking too many!  Haha.  I honestly don't know a good way to do an Easter egg hunt fairly across the ages without making each kid take a turn to run and grab one egg.  But that hardly seems fun.  So I guess it is one of those things you just have to deal with until you are older and faster.  Maybe by next Easter we can convince Benson a power wheelchair is a good idea and he can just beat everyone, or run them over.
Here we are trying to get everyone together and going on the egg hunting.  Restraint is nearly impossible once you have stepped outside.

 

 Brooklyn makes the craziest faces for the camera all the time.  This kid cracks me up!

 I love how when they're really young they are happy with an egg in each hand.

 I debated whether or not to wake Benson from his nap for the hunt but decided that I would.  He was pretty groggy and I probably should have just let the poor kid sleep.  I didn't think he would want to miss it, but it was hard to tell if he enjoyed it or not.

Before Jon and I left Utah, I stopped by Wal Mart and grabbed a few Easter things.  When we got home on Easter Sunday, I tried to distract the kids while Jon hid eggs and baskets.  Er, I mean, the Easter bunny somehow knew that we wouldn't be home until late so he waited for us to get home and then hid eggs and baskets for them.  I don't know if they bought it or not, but they saw Jon's shadow from the bedroom and that it was daddy outside.  I tried to convince them it was the Easter bunny and if they looked, he would take all the eggs back.

 Brig just looks exhausted, poor kid. 

 I think Vanessa thoroughly enjoyed being the oldest and getting all the eggs she wanted, though she did well slowing down to let Benson get some too.

 A basket!  Or bucket, whatever.  And a car!  Always a favorite!

 The last egg.  Collected together. 

I'm not sure who got what, since I make them share it all anyway (I know, I'm mean). But the toys were binoculars, jump rope, a car, frog ball thing, and bubbles.

On Monday, I watched several of the Bible Videos with the kids and we talked about why Easter is special and learned about Jesus.  I feel like we kind of missed Easter this year, but I've felt that way with most things.  It's just always so crazy and I can't seem to get my act together.  Hopefully by the time the kids start to notice, I'll have this whole three kids thing figured out.