Top Ten Interesting Moments

Now that I am a stay at home mom, I thought I would share some funny moments from my last two jobs. I worked at SkyWest for just six months and at Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS) for two years. I actually enjoyed SkyWest though there were some stressful moments, but who wouldn't love flying for free and meeting the most amazing and attractive guy in the whole world?! (Yes, Jon, I am definitely talking about you!) DCFS was a whole different story and stressful from day 1. The stress lessened after a year but I never really felt comfortable doing that job. I have a new respect for any moms who also do that job, or any job for that matter. I don't think I would be good at both. **Note: I realize a lot of this humor is probably only funny to me (and those who have had the honor of working these jobs), but I'm sharing anyway :)

10. SkyWest
Me: "I'm sorry, sir. This flight is closed, the plane has already left. All the other passengers from your connecting flight made it."
Grumpy Old Man: "You better start praying to your God that you can get that plane back here or your life is going to be hell." (Did I just get threatened in an airport?!)

9. SkyWest
Me: "I'm sorry, sir. I don't have any new information for your about your delayed flight."
Angry Man: "It was only supposed to be twenty minutes late, but that was two hours ago!"
Me: "I understand that is really frustrating for you. But I don't know any more than what I have been telling you."
**Phone Call**
Angry Man: "What did that phone call say?!"
Me: "Same as the last phone call. It's about another twenty minutes."
Angry Man: "You're lying! You are a liar!"
Me: "Well you're being rude!"
Angry Man looked at me like I was five.

8. DCFS
Voicemail: "You were probably calling about my positive for cocaine and I can explain that. I went with my sister to a friend's house and they all started smoking. I swear I didn't use. I sat in the room with them for about ten minutes and then realized I would probably still get a positive, so I left. But I swear I didn't smoke anything!"

7. DCFS
Client (in mid sentence about something completely unrelated): "Oh my gosh, I went to the book fair with my girls today and I just realized I bought a book in Mexican. I can't read Mexican!"
Me: "You mean Spanish?"
Client: "I wonder if they'll take it back...or maybe I'll just try to learn Mexican."

6. DCFS
Client: "I want to see where it says in the court documents that you can test me for alcohol."
I show her the court paper that states DCFS will do drug AND alcohol testing.
Client: "This is ridiculous! I have a God-given right to drink! You're going to be hearing from my attorney!"...Client storming away continues..."I'm contacting the news too! You're going to have so many people on your a#@ you won't know what to do!"

5. SkyWest
At the morning briefing before any flights have started. Supervisor going over flights.
Supervisor: "All right, today is heavily booked. We've got oversold flights all morning going to Vegas and can't get people out for a few days but, we have a lot of originating passengers. Start praying to the security Gods that some don't make it through in time."
--yes, I'm sorry people. Sometimes security saved our butts. As a passenger, I hate it too.

4. DCFS
Defense Attorney questioning CPS worker: "You have the hair strand test from their daughter? Could you please read the results."
CPS worker: "Hair test was positive for cocaine."
Defense Attorney: "And what does this mean?"
CPS worker: "The child was in contact with cocaine residue around the house, probably ingesting small amounts over a period of time."
Defense Attorney: "And is there any proof that this has had an adverse affect on this child?"

3. DCFS
Assistant Attorney General: "So what you're saying is, your boyfriend (pointing to her boyfriend and father of her children) overdosed and passed out. Then you began performing mouth to mouth and that's how you got a positive for cocaine?"
Client: "It wasn't him (pointing to her boyfriend), it was 'someone' else. But ya, I gave him mouth to mouth but I didn't use."
Assistant Attorney General: "Okay. I understand what you're saying but I just want you to know that typically isn't how drugs will get into your system."
Client: "Oh, I know, but I swear that's what happened."

2. SkyWest
Me: "I'm sorry sir, the flight has already departed."
Passenger: "I'm only two minutes late!"
Me: "Sir, we have to send our flights out on time. We can't wait for one passenger. You connection time shows you had plenty of time to get to the gate."
Passenger: "This is absurd."
Me: "Maybe next time you shouldn't stop to buy ice cream."
Passenger: "I didn't buy this, someone gave it to me!"
Me: "And you took it?!"

1. And the Number One all time BEST: DCFS
Client, under oath, being questioned by assistant attorney general(AAG)
AAG: "If you didn't use cocaine, can you explain how you have a positive drug test?"
Client: Well, I party with my friends and they like to snort lines off my stomach."
AAG: "So, just trying to understand, are you saying the cocaine must have absorbed into your skin while they were snorting lines off your stomach?"
Client: "yes."

Oh, how I miss my job.......