Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Easter

When we scheduled Jon's time off to go out to Utah it was November of 2012.  And the night before the meeting, we decided we better throw an idea together of what we wanted for vacation.  We knew Benson needed a dr appointment at Primary's so we based our trip around that.  Feb/March time was about right, add in that Brig and I had birthdays, bam, last two weeks of March it was.  We didn't even bother to pull out a calendar and see that Easter weekend would be the weekend we would be traveling.  But, such is life.  So, we drove for most of Easter Sunday.  We did however, do small Easter activities and of course, had a good discussion (as good as it gets with 4 yrs and under) about the TRUE meaning of Easter.  I mentioned in my Utah week 1 post that we died eggs with the Purdy fam.  I did fail to mention though that we died eggs and did an Easter egg hunt with the Bradys as well.  We did this on Friday.  It was H-E-C-T-I-C.  The boys, for whatever reason, decided it was a good time to play some ball right as we were busting out the egg dying.  So it was the chillins and the women.  Never enough hands.  Anyway, we hid some eggs and the kids found them and also died eggs.  I was trying to take pictures and help Benson find eggs and it didn't work.  And Vanessa was upset because she wasn't as fast at finding the eggs as the other kids and they were taking too many!  Haha.  I honestly don't know a good way to do an Easter egg hunt fairly across the ages without making each kid take a turn to run and grab one egg.  But that hardly seems fun.  So I guess it is one of those things you just have to deal with until you are older and faster.  Maybe by next Easter we can convince Benson a power wheelchair is a good idea and he can just beat everyone, or run them over.
Here we are trying to get everyone together and going on the egg hunting.  Restraint is nearly impossible once you have stepped outside.
 

 Brooklyn makes the craziest faces for the camera all the time.  This kid cracks me up!

 I love how when they're really young they are happy with an egg in each hand.
 I debated whether or not to wake Benson from his nap for the hunt but decided that I would.  He was pretty groggy and I probably should have just let the poor kid sleep.  I didn't think he would want to miss it, but it was hard to tell if he enjoyed it or not.

Before Jon and I left Utah, I stopped by Wal Mart and grabbed a few Easter things.  When we got home on Easter Sunday, I tried to distract the kids while Jon hid eggs and baskets.  Er, I mean, the Easter bunny somehow knew that we wouldn't be home until late so he waited for us to get home and then hid eggs and baskets for them.  I don't know if they bought it or not, but they saw Jon's shadow from the bedroom and that it was daddy outside.  I tried to convince them it was the Easter bunny and if they looked, he would take all the eggs back.
 Brig just looks exhausted, poor kid. 

 I think Vanessa thoroughly enjoyed being the oldest and getting all the eggs she wanted, though she did well slowing down to let Benson get some too.
 A basket!  Or bucket, whatever.  And a car!  Always a favorite!






 The last egg.  Collected together. 
I'm not sure who got what, since I make them share it all anyway (I know, I'm mean). But the toys were binoculars, jump rope, a car, frog ball thing, and bubbles.
On Monday, I watched several of the Bible Videos with the kids and we talked about why Easter is special and learned about Jesus.  I feel like we kind of missed Easter this year, but I've felt that way with most things.  It's just always so crazy and I can't seem to get my act together.  Hopefully by the time the kids start to notice, I'll have this whole three kids thing figured out.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Primary Childrens Appointment

On March 26th, we went in for Benson's appointment with Dr Sakonju and Dr Swoboda.  These doctors are considered experts in the field of SMA.  The closest expert to us here in Missouri is a doctor up in St Louis.  We considered going to this doctor for a while but finally decided to stick with Swoboda since we have already established care with her and because she is doing clinical trials.  After this appointment, I may change my thoughts on that, but we'll see.  Anyway, we arrived at 9am, which was slightly late.  Never a good start to a stressful appointment.  Benson hates going to the doctor and Jon had to check his heart rate and breathing since he was freaking about the nurse touching him.  His darn cough was still going (and is still going) so we weren't able to do versed for the EMG.  So Jon sat on the bed and held him while Dr Sakonju worked as quickly as she could to get a reading on the neurons.  The EMG or CMAP basically tells us if he is losing neural responses.  I had to have Dr Sakonju re-explain this to me and I think this is the layman version of what she said.  They get a number that represents how many neurons are firing in a particular area.  Last year Benson was at around 3.5, this year he is at 2.1.  This was slap in the face kind of bad news.  And a total shocker because he seems to be so much stronger than he was last year.  I asked the doctors and they kind of seemed to think that it was possibly a result of him learning to compensate despite further deterioration. 
The whole visit was somewhat chaotic.  Benson was crying most of the time, and this seemed to make it a little stressful for everyone.  I am probably somewhat over sensitive to doctor's bedside manner.  I expect a doctor to have respectable social skills as well as extensive medical knowledge.  I just wasn't overly impressed with the first half of this visit as far as bedside manner.  We didn't see Dr Swoboda until the second half of the visit and I feel she is easier to talk with, but Benson had also calmed down by then and wasn't causing quite as much havic so maybe I should give them the benefit of the doubt. 
I still can't get over a conversation I had with the nurse.  She was asking about his bowel movements.  Probably TMI for the www, but lets just say her and I have different opinions about what is regular but we both agree Benson is not regular.  We also have different opinions about how to achieve said regularity.  Granted, she is a nurse and she works specifically with SMA.  But I'm a mom living with SMA.  I switched from giving him Miralax after reading it can cause neurological problems if given long term.  I am now giving him magnesium citrate, which can cause diarhea or absorption issues if given too much.  Her question to me, "Who told you to do that?" kind of blows me away.  I wasn't aware I had to ask permission.  Again, I didn't love the bedside manner.
I could go on, but I won't.  Suffice it to say, after the first hour and a half, I was feeling like the most negligent mother in the world and like Benson was declining at an exponential rate.  He has only gained a few ounces since last year.  Yes, that was ounces.  But, he has also been sick for a while so it is possible he has even lost a few more ounces in the past couple weeks.  Either way, he's off the charts in weight.  Everyone is concerned about this, of course.  I have talked with the dietician extensively about doing a GTube or just trying to keep him sustained long enough to get through the picky phase.  It's a never ending debate.  It's a decison we won't come to lightly if we ever do decide it's something that needs to happen.
The other issue is the night waking.  He had a pulse oximeter in Utah and has oxygen sats were always pretty good.  He dropped a few times, but less than 2 minutes total throughout a night.  A pulmonologist reviewed this and wasn't concerned.  However, we haven't had a pulse ox since coming to Missouri, so it is possible this has changed.  I scheduled an appointment with the pulmonologist here in Springfield, but it isn't until June.  Dr Sakonju was really surprised I haven't seen the pulmonologist here yet.  Apparently she felt he should be more first contact.  But when we saw the pulmonologist in Utah, he said we didn't need to come back for a year.  So I wasn't concerned.  Considering how many doctor and therapy appointments we have every month, I was okay letting that one wait until the year mark.  I digress, basically they are recommending a sleep study and probably bipap.  The idea makes me cringe.  But, there is nothing we can do until June and I'm sure he will be fine in the meantime.
So the second half of our visit we talked with Dr Swoboda.  She gave us the option of putting Benson on valproic acid or Depacote.  This is a seizure medicine that has shown to somehow protect the neurons for the disintegration caused by SMA.  There isn't a clear reason as to why, but it for some reason works.  There are some very risky side effects however.  Dr Swoboda said she is the only doctor still prescribing this particular medicine for SMA because of the significant risks.  The biggest risk is that 1 in 10,000 will develop liver failure and it can be fatal.  Another possible side effect is learning disabilities.  Dr Swoboda isn't convinced that the learning disabilities are actually caused by Depacote.  Since the drug is only given to young children, that aren't school age yet, they may have developed the learning disabilities regardless of taking Depacote.  Anyway, these were the two biggest factors for us and we ultimately decided not to give him any.
The other thing we discussed was possibly getting in on some clinical trials.  Currently underway are some trials with the pharmaceutical company ISIS.  There is a possibility we could get into this trial sometime next year.  Another company called Repligen is also doing trials.  She recommended we contact a doctor in Maryland if we are interested in doing that trial.  Clinical trials are a bit scary to me but also kind of exciting.  There are definitely risks, but also possibly some huge benefits.  It's a hard decision to make and I don't know enough about either drug at this point to say whether or not it would be something we would be serious about. If a drug isn't going to present some serious advantages, I don't want to risk serious side effects. 
So, the second day we went back for his physical therapy evaluation.  I was really proud of him for showing off his skills.  He did some good rolling.  He is really good at rolling from his back to one side.  His arm gets stuck a little when he tries to go all the way around but with a little help he can make it.  We did some tummy time and he can lay on his tummy and hold his head up for 7 minutes.  And we supported his elbows and helped him get in position to hold himself up with his arms fully extended.  He hyper extends his elbows when he does this, but with a brace I am pretty sure he could do this better and I wouldn't worry about the joint quite so much.  We also put his AFOs on and some knee immobilizers and he stood on his very own, without me touching him for a solid second.  He can stand for a full 15 minutes when I give a little support, mostly balance.  He also played around on some of the sit and ride cars and we tried to teach him how to push himself.  He worked really hard and earned the toys he got so I was really proud of him.  Donata, the PT, was much more positive about where he is at and made me feel much better about his progress.  She said he is definitely a solid type 2. 
Towards the end of our visit, a mom and her son were at Primarys for the ISIS trials and she came over and talked with us for a little bit.  It was so nice to talk with another SMA mom face-to-face, not via Facebook.  She has two kids, both with SMA type 2.  Her son is 5 and even though he is a type 2 because of the physiology of the disease (he has three back-up SMN2 copies like Benson) he is actually a type 3 by function.  He can walk!  It was so amazing to see.  She also has a daughter that is a type 2, and she is 2 1/2 yrs old, but she is significantly weaker and is unable to crawl anymore.  It was really interesting to talk with her and hear her experiences with things and how she gets all the equipment they need. 
After the first day I felt like Benson had lost so much on the CMAP because I wasn't doing enough.  I didn't have him doing the cough assist regularly, I didn't have him on bipap, and he wasn't getting enough nutrition.  After the second day, I went back to feeling like life could carry on as usual and Benson was going to be okay.  Sure, there is room for improvement (especially in the nutrition department) but it's things we are just going to have to work on day by day.  This disease is hard enough without being depressed about it.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Utah Week 2

Saturday morning started off bright and early.  We had to meet at the temple at 9:30 to do an endowment session with Jon's sister who was going through for her first time.  It was amazing to go to the temple again.  It has been way too long.  It's hard when the closest temple is three hours away and you have three little kids.   After the session, Jon and I sat in the celestial room for a few extra minutes to soak in the beauty and simplicity of it all before heading back to "the real world."  We headed to the Bradys that day.  I went shopping with all the Brady women and all the men took the kids over to Tommy's house.  I felt bad leaving the kids again to go shopping, but I didn't spend hardly anything this time.  And everything I got was for the upcoming family pictures.
On Monday Jon, Shauna, Stephanie and I took the kids to City Creek to get lunch and play on the dinosaur playground.  Vanessa loved playing on the toys.  Benson did as well, until I stepped away out of sight for a second and it made him nervous.  It kind of ruined it for him.  But we still enjoyed some yummy McDonalds. 


On Tuesday morning, we had an appointment with Dr Swoboda and Dr Sakonju at Primary Children's.  It was a long, rough morning for all of us but that will be a separate post.  On Wednesday, Benson and I went to a physical therapy appointment at Primary's for an evalution.  This day was much better, but again, more on that later.  After that, we headed home to get ready for family pictures.  I had a few more errands I wanted to run but when I was ready to go, I couldn't find my keys.  I looked and looked.  Jon looked.  His mom looked.  Two hours later, we found them in Stephanie's friend's purse.  Haha!  In the meantime, my sister ran a shirt over to me so Jon would have something for the picture and we called it good.  That evening we took on the crazy task of taking family pictures and being in the picture.  This required some intense photoshop, but in the end, I think it all looks pretty good.

After pictures we all went to McDonalds for dinner and the cousins ran around in the PlayPlace like hooligans.  On Thursday, Jon and I went to a play with my parents.  It was completely coincidence that we ended up doing the same "adult" activity with both families.  Luckily though, it was a different play.  This time we saw Les Miserables, A Lot Less Miserable.  On Friday, I had agreed to take family pictures for my sister at Union Station in Ogden.  I loved shooting here.  I wish we would have had time to get our own family pics there.  It was so fun and cute.  Originally Jon was going to come too but he ended up staying at his parents to spend more time with his brothers and I went by myself.  I was nervous.  I feel like we work so much better as a team.  But I guess I'll let my sister be the judge of that.  I did my best anyway.  I haven't edited them yet.  But I think there will be some cute ones.  On Saturday, we had to start the long journey home.  Vanessa cried when we told her it was time to go back to Missouri.  She loved every minute of having non-stop play dates.  We were all a little sad, but it was definitely time to get back to our house and resume our own routine.  See you in November Utah peeps!

Utah Week 1

Every time we have gone to Utah in the past, we have kind of "flown by the seat of our pants" as far as a schedule is concerned.  It always ends up being really stressfull and we sleep at a different house every night.  So this trip we decided to try something different.  And when I say we, I mean, I convinced Jon it was a good idea.  Haha.  So we spent the first week in town with the Purdy family and the second week in town with the Brady family.  After all was said and done, I think there are pros and cons to both methods.  But at least now we have the perspective of the "other side."  So, with the Purdy family we tried to keep things low-key and kid friendly.  We arrived on Saturday evening, around 7pm.  Bradys came over for a few minutes because who wouldn't be absolutely excited to see these crazy kids?!  Sunday, we went to sacrament meeting but then took the boys home for naps.  Except Vanessa decided she needed to be with Grandma at all times.  So Grandma sat in primary with her through second hour and then she went to Relief Society with Grandma the third hour.  That evening, Becky and Brett came over and we feasted on some ribs and turkey and all the fabulous sides you can imagine.

 On Monday we went to Chuckee Cheese with the kids.  And then met up with Jon's family to go to the Desert Star Playhouse.  It was adults only, of course, so my parents watched the kids.  The play was Kicking The Hobbit.  It was pretty funny.  On Tuesday, we went to the zoo.  Always good times at the zoo.







 On Wednesday, my parents go work in the temple from about 2pm-10pm.  So we died Easter eggs in the morning and then Jon and I went to meet up with his friends from high school at Cafe Rio.  Miss that place.  We stopped by Bradys for a minute and ended up leaving Brigham and Vanessa with his parents.  Benson wanted to come with but Vanessa was hooked to her Grandma again.  And Brigham had squeezed out half a container of babyfood on his clothes so he was naked and got left behind too.  But he warmed up quick and loved the attention, I'm sure.


 On Thursday we took on Kangaroo Zoo.  All jump places are a kid's heaven on earth, in my opinion.  Benson loves them, but it definitely means a work out for mom and dad.  Who needs a gym, right?!






 We got some slushies for the kids and Brigham cracked us up begging Benson for some.  Thank goodness these guys are good at sharing.  Wish germs didn't share so easily.





 I don't think Vanessa stopped moving and chasing after Clay the entire time, except to drink the Slush.  Jon and I traded running around with Benson.  We each lasted about a half hour before we were pooped and sweating.  Benson seemed content with that though.
 On Friday, we took a girls day.  My mom, Steph and I left the kids home with the guys and went shopping at City Creek.  We spent way too much money and then met up with the guys and kids at Pf Changs.  Love that place too.
When we got home, my dad had picked this up for me and Brigham.  I personally love the Hello Kitty.  It was an ice cream cake.  When I was little I always wanted ice cream cakes for my birthday and this was the exact kind I liked!  I was amazed my dad remembered.  He had me going for a minute until he admitted he didn't remember but it was the kind that looked the best to him.  Haha!  At least he has good taste.
 Brigham thoroughly enjoyed his first birthday cake.  His preferred method of devouring was to just lick it straight off the plate.


It was so much fun to be with family again.  It makes me kind of sad about the bill all over again.  But, I am so grateful for our beautiful house and fabulous job that allows us to go and visit family.  It's easier to appreciate them when you treasure your time with them, anyway, right?!

Monday, April 1, 2013

The Drive To Utah






Plane tickets to Utah are ridiculous.  Or maybe it's just plane tickets in general.  Flying is not so affordable these days.  In light of this, we decided to drive.  It was nervous.  Because Brigham is at that age, the hard-to-entertain-in-the-car age.  He had a hard time, but did okay considering.  I took these pics along the way on my iPod.  Vanessa did great on the drive there.  She was so excited to see her grandmas and cousins.  She could hardly stand it.  We left after work around 5:00pm Friday night.  We drove until around midnight, stopping in Grand Island, NE.  Right by our hotel was a state park called Mormon Island.  We didn't have much time to look around, but I'm fairly sure it's really cool.  We were stocked up on goodies, as you can see.  I think I mostly consumed the entire bag of peanut M&Ms by myself.  They're my fav.  :)  It felt like it took forever, but we finally saw my favorite almost-home-landmark.  Devil's slide.  I remember always looking for this rock formation whenever we went on road trips as a kid.  It means home is only about a half hour away.  A beautiful sight at the end of a 19 hour drive.
 

Ford F-150




This is the Christmas gift we got the kids.  I think this was Brigham's first ride in it.  Vanessa loves to drive the boys around.  But Brigham's expressions in these pictures take the cake.  Vanessa has a few good ones in there too.  These guys sure keep me laughing.