Bittersweet

This week has been so bittersweet. Early on in the week we heard that HB 109 had passed the Health and Human Services Committee. This is the first step In the legislative process, the first step in the right direction! A few days later we heard that the bill wasn't going to be voted on in the floor. Becky Lockhart is the current Speaker of the House and an RN. As we mentioned before, AAs are job competition and nurses in general are opposed to them. Nurses tend to stick together. Anyway, Lockhart killed the bill. As Speaker, she can refuse to let the bill be voted on and she did just that. We were so disappointed.  It feels unfair.  It feels like dirty politics. 
Amidst all the chaos surrounding the federal government, I've felt somewhat disappointed in our system of late.  I really do believe that our Founding Fathers were inspired by God when they drafted the Constituition.  And I think the system did work.  But how is it possible that such an inspired nation already seems to be dwindling and falling into corruption?
Remember these words found in 2 Nephi 10?

10 But behold, this land, said God, shall be a land of thine inheritance, and the ^aGentiles shall be blessed upon the land.

11 And this land shall be a land of ^aliberty unto the Gentiles, and there shall be no ^bkings upon the land, who shall raise up unto the Gentiles.

12 And I will fortify this land ^aagainst all other nations.

13 And he that ^afighteth against Zion shall ^bperish, saith God.

14 For he that raiseth up a ^aking against me shall perish, for I, the Lord, the ^bking of heaven, will be their king, and I will be a ^clight unto them forever, that hear my words.

Is this a conditional promise?  That Zion can only be fortified and saved, if there are more good than evil?  For a nation who is confusing separation of church and state with forgetting God completely, does the good outweigh the bad?  Is it simply the loud minority that makes things appear so bleak? 

I was surprised when I heard some news regarding a friend how much emotion came over me.  A "friend" via Facebook SMA group is pregnant and received the results of her amnio test.  Her unborn son has SMA.  I cried when I read the news.  As someone else pointed out, it may be a blessing for their daughter, to have someone else to always play with and have the same abilities.  They will always have each other.  But it is so hard to see yet another child born with this awful disease.  It is heartbreaking to watch them struggle to do things that most hardly think twice about, such as eating, putting on a shirt, raising their hand, etc.  I wondered how I would feel if I were in that position.  If we decided to have more kids, would I be able to handle another child with SMA?  Could we afford it financially?  Could I bear the heart ache and worry of how they will deal with the emotional and physical trial it gives to them at such a young age?

Ironically, I saw this news as I was on my way to put Brigham down for a nap.  As I literally wrestled with a very wiggly, screaming Brigham I felt an overwhelming grattitude that he did not have SMA.  I felt grattitude that even though I am in WAY over my head, I am sleep-deprived beyond my wildest dreams, and not nearly the mother I want to be, I have three beautiful, amazing children.  I felt grattitude that we listened to that tender voice that said, "It's crazy, but have another baby."  When I remember that voice, when I remember that feeling that I had, I know it was the right thing for our family.  I know that Brigham will be a blessing to our family, and especially to his siblings.  I sometimes worry how I'll ever know if and when and how we should have more kids.  But if it's anything like it was with Brigham, I need only to listen.

PS...I'm not talking "how" as in the birds and the bees, I'm talking Invitro Fertilizatoin with Pre-Genetic Diagnostics.  It is an amazing technology but it is definitely a post for another day.