Bitter

I'm feeling a little bitter today.  Last night we watched home movies and it just happened that the first tape we could come up with here in Denver was right around the time Vanessa was learning to walk.  I had forgotten how much fun it is to watch them take those steps into independence and become little toddlers.  It made me feel like my son was being short changed.  Then this morning I took the kids to the mall where they have indoor play toys.  I felt that bit of anger growing inside again as kids younger than him were wondering around, playing on the toys.  I avoided talking to any parents because I didn't want anyone to ask how old Benson was.  Immediately following that question is always a comment about him walking.  I haven't come up with a good response yet.  It's not like I can say "he's just not interested yet." Because, he is very interested.  But he never will.  Do I say that?  My son will never walk.  It's not embarrassing or anything, it just makes my heart hurt for my little man.  And kind of angry at my genes.

On a happier note, the kids are getting better.  No more fevers, coughs mostly gone and so are most of the yellow bougars (I don't know how to spell that).  And here are some funny things Vanessa has said lately.
~As we were driving out to the Denver airport, passing expansive fields of white, "Where are all the polar bears, mommy?"
~One morning Vanessa insisted that she be called Brooklyn (her cousin) and she kept asking me all Brooklyn's family members names.  Benson was Drew and I was Nicole.
~She talks in her "daddy voice" and "papa voice"
~Benson was crying on the floor while I ran to the bathroom.  Vanessa walked over and rubbed his back and sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star to him.
~Vanessa woke up really early one morning crying.  "My teeth hurt mommy, I need my toothbrush."  Me:  "Your teeth hurt?  Is it your lips?  Do you want chapstick?"  Vanessa:  "No.  I want chocolate hearts."  And then she was asleep again.
~When we got home today she said she wanted to wear her purple nightgown with her Rapunzel hair and watch Rapunzel.